Jesus take the wheel…

OOOhhh, Easter.  That celebration of family, egg hunts, candy, hats, dresses and praising the risen.  Well, unfortunately I had fallen.

Jay left for out of town with business back home.  Girls were already upset with me that we couldn’t go back with him but honestly, I don’t want to be in a hotel room and check cliff into a dog daycare and drive 10 hours with both kids and no scenery. Not only that, the drive back in less than 48 hours separately since we are finally bringing back a truck. No thanks.  I will make the weekend of their spring break fun.  We will have girls weekend and go shopping for Easter stuff.


We spent a good amount on this and that. I blatantly even said to both after I got a THANK YOU, “you’re welcome… HAPPY EASTER”! Feeling satisfied and awesome we get home rented movies, ordered a pizza and made popcorn waiting for Jay to get home. He is bringing our boat back, a truck so we can FINALLY have two cars and should be arriving any minute.

After he is home and settled, it’s around midnight and we say ok girls, get to bed. Addison, almost 10 years old, blurts out, I can’t wait to see what the Easter Bunny brings tomorrow.  OOOOKAAAAYYY???  Uhm, Gigi you told me she knew. “No Mom, I said I didn’t know if she does or not and I asked her.  She said that it couldn’t be you and Dad because you are both too lazy to be Santa.  That was at Christmas, mom”. (starting to feel that not so warm fuzzy and holding back a freak out moment) ” are you kidding me?!!?  We have absolutely nothing to set out in the morning.. Nothing. Not even hidden candy.  Crap I would set out beef jerky at this point.  A new pencil, anything. Jay gives me the way to go that’s my trophy wife sits down and watches me panicking trying to tell her as he is laughing to himself.  I give him a break since he’s been  on the road for quite some time, not even going to ask him to get back into his car, let alone the only thing open is a gas station at this point. I cannot get out of the house with my car since now the boat is in the middle of the drive way. I would take the new truck, I would feel like a mosquito riding on a camel’s back, it’s a beast of a truck but, I cannot drive the company truck due to insurance reasons.  (if you’ve ever driven with me, you’d fully understand). I calmly say honey we got our Easter things, the (insert air quotes) “bunny” already came so to speak.  She said what, where.. Gigi laughing not helping me at all and making me feel 2″ tall changes the subject.  Damn, I had to let this out.. Had to.  Gigi, help me I whisper and said I got you all so much stuff and are you all pulling my leg? Are you kidding me, help me tell her. I thought she knew.  I have lost my mind, I truly have. So I said well, Dad brought the boat home, he still isn’t saying a word, letting me do this all on my own. ugh. I got you all those things, that was Easter honey. Oh, and she walks off.  Really it was that easy?

We wake up and girls are still sleeping. So nice to see the boat and another vehicle in our possession. Addison and Gigi come out and Addison looks around and said the Easter Bunny didn’t come? Ok. Uh, I look at Jay who busts out laughing and Gigi’s face is turning red and they both diss me.  Leave me alone with her.  I said honey, he did.  Dad brought the boat last night and I got you all those things on Saturday for Easter. Then she responds with, I bet he hid stuff like he did that one year.  ~OH the year Jay fell asleep with Gigi and I fell asleep with you and no one woke up to set it out!!!  THAT YEAR?!  yea, well that year we hid it around the house while you were in the other room. Just like the tooth fairy stuffed it under your bed a couple times and Dad and I found it because the dog scared him.

So now she is looking around the house. I am getting pissed off at those two for leaving this all up to me. Granted, I am fully nominated for Mom of the Year award and all of you are casting your votes as we speak but for the love of god throw me a bone and help me out! JESUS!  (no pun intended)

So she helps Jay wash the boat all day and I said did you tell her anything at all, he said no she didn’t bring it up. WHY only me…. why? We went through the rest of the day and a couple opportunities came about. I did noticed she was a tad out of sorts but my god just tell the girl and I can’t because I have no balls. None. And she’s our “baby”. They won’t help me and if the subject gets even close to being brought up and I go to answer there is a sudden change of subject! I can’t even remember how I was told.  I think I was handed a book about Santa not being real. After a day of dodging her hopefully she will ask Gigi later on when they watch a movie together Gigi will feel my pain and just tell her.

Monday morning, Jay is off to work, we are on spring break and I am making them breakfast.  I walk over to the sink and wash my hands with Addison and I said “what’s wrong”. “Well, I’m kind of sad”… yes, here we go.  “why honey”. With a serious look on her face she says “The Easter Bunny didn’t come again, do you think he went to our house back home”……   me speechless for once in my life start to well up.  I am the worst parent ever.  Oh my god. My eyes are filing up with tears almost, Gigi finally says, Do you want me to just tell her?  WELL YEA!  I have been needing help for two days! “Addison, mom and dad are the easter bunny and santa.  We’ve been trying to tell you, you just wouldn’t give up”.  And there went her balloon, POP, with a sharpened up Gigi dart. ya know that total older sister, haha I knew and you’re stupid act.  She looks at me and I’m waiting for a total fall out of tears or anything and she starts laughing and says “No way”. I said yes, we aren’t as lazy as you think. Explained it to her that she can’t ruin for anyone and then she says I should have known because of this and because of that.    popimages

WHEW, it was easy I just didn’t have the chance or nerve. we called Jay and put him on speaker, we tell him what happened and he’s still laughing.  It’s not cool. But she’s fine. We are all laughing now, He swears we probably could have got another year out of her.  I say back, “Oh what ever!  One of Gigi’s friends told her the tooth fairy wasn’t real when she was in 1st grade”.  Out of no where Addison says, so wait… there isn’t a tooth fairy either?! Jay laughs even louder. oh, F&CK! I hang up on his ass and just look at her and say “want to go to starbucks and get a smoothie, The easter bunny is buying”?

Seriously, Addison is fine.  She is joking around calling Jay, Santa. Word of advice, let your kids tell you they know, don’t assume. It sucks.