Oh yes, here we go. Time to be bad parents again and take our girls to another national park, this one being in Wyoming. Devils Tower is only a two hour drive, come on it’s going to be 84 degrees. And the girls, Why do we have to go? Why there? I don’t want to go hiking. So one is too cold to move and the other one is playing dead in her bed. Almost 2 hours later we all get inside the car. Same scenario, oldest is not talking and still doesn’t have her shoes on glaring lasers into the back of my head while we have convinced the youngest this will be so fun that now she is happy and excited to go. Not a good combo in the back seat. I’m thinking to myself that I should almost… almost switch spots with Gigi, but then no I will have to do it every single time. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I did stop them mid hand slapping because they were laughing too hard to where the only thing that would lead, is crying since I could see a hand fly over a forehead by “mistake”. They both get car sick if they read, and mind you we have never had the luxury of a TV for the kids to watch but I’m pretty sure they would argue over the movie too. We stop at the gas station right on the border, girls and I go in to purchase waters and grab snacks for them. Now, I have a squirrel that lives in my brain and immediately go to the souvenirs. How cute, look at this. Also, being rushed since we are 2 hours behind schedule I grab a water and the girls are making malt shakes, Jay is in the car waiting.
When we get to devil’s tower after looking at the cute prairie dogs and this wicked crazy cool landmark we are grabbing a map of our hike.
All excited to soak up this beautiful beast we grab our…eerrrr MY water which is half full, and no one else has anything to drink. Damn shiny objects!! I forgot water for everyone!!! Shit. Go inside the visitor center which mind you everything else that is near isn’t open since it’s all seasonal so nothing is open until Memorial Day weekend. NOTHING! Now the visitor center…..Good for them, they went green and don’t sell plastic bottles of beverages. Double Shit, he gave me one responsibility in that gas station… ONE….I don’t make eye contact with my him since I already know his face is not amused and just say “here, have my water”. And walk off.
So we start off the trail and it’s breath taking. Addison finds a walking stick and Gigi just takes off. Jay is right with G and I am with Addison a good 200 yards behind. See, for some reason we all wore shorts, with a hike that is literally in a forest. Stepping over big piles of shit that you just don’t even want to know was there. Hoping elk but who knows. Bear, are they out of hibernation yet? The tall grass is brittle and when the wind comes it sound like a rattler snake. So with no one having my “back” so to speak, has me almost in a panic. I’m telling Addison let’s get up by dad and Gigi mainly because yes, I’m a tad spooked. The not just one but three piles of crap kinda had me open my eyes. I also don’t even see safety or a ranger or anything and scared of heights. Addison’s legs are getting scratched up and she is starting to itch, it’s been 5 minutes. I pretty much tell her to buck up, move your stick like this and push the grass out of the way. As I think to myself, to make the rattler sound *gasp* my worst fear in life are snakes.
We catch up to them and he says come on, get your heart pumping. Ah, it is you a$$hole, if he only friggin knew I was about to have a panic attack and with him throwing pine cones and making snake sounds was about to make me pass out. Addison crying and complaining again and we are all thirsty. The only thing I am missing at this point is the question that makes us all cringe the most “I have to go to the bathroom”. Addison is complaining, wants to turn around and once again Gigi is enjoying herself and is leader of the pack. I am fully convinced they tag team us for fun. We decided to split up. Gigi and I in front and Jay helping Addison in the back fight off grass. It seemed to work a lot better as we would meet up here and there and have a moment of beautiful scenery grab some photos and soak in nature. When we finished it was a family high five and of course a selfie to irritate Gigi. Then immediately to a gas station, for water!
If any of you are able to encounter this beautiful landmark and are planning on hiking with children. Please wear pants. Take water. And split up. This is the second time we have not been prepared. You’d think we were rookies.
After we get home having a great day, Jay says to the girls, “See now you can cross that off your bucket list”. Gigi, an attorney in the making says… yeah, that isn’t on my bucket list.