He has the patience of Mother Theresa, I have patience of The Hulk

Sunday is our family day. Being in South Dakota there is a lot to do, even in the winter which we are used to the temps anyhow, so I thought. Girls have always wanted to try snowboarding, why not go this weekend and surprise them.
My youngest, Addy, already thinks she is a shredder of the gnar. My oldest, Gigi, all the sudden not wanting to even take a lesson and is totally quiet when we arrive. More than likely could have been because of the ‘lovely’ drive there of screaming and fighting, anyway. My husband is doing the paperwork for the ‘shredder’ and I am helping her size her boots, helmet and board as I also sit and counsel with the Gigi who is not wanting to do anything except stare at me and not answer with her words, just tweenager body language and eye rolls. Can’t these girls ever be happy for one another? We end up leaving the rental store and head outside. It’s cold. After pure convincing, G finally decides “fine”, I will take a lesson. There is a line to sign up therefore, we head over to the retail store conveniently located next to the rental area. Mind you she is only wearing stretch pants and a light long sleeve shirt with an infinity scarf. So from apparel to accessories, obviously, we need it all and these are not walmart or target prices let alone brands. I mean when I heard the total, I could almost hear velcro on Jay’s wallet as he was opening to pay.  At least she had on her heavy coat. So we head back over to the rental area to sign Gigi up and rent her board, boots and helmet. She asks me to take the lessons with her.  Now, I get hurt just watching sports on television.  Also, I am not dressed for the adventure in jeans, sweatshirt and thin socks inside my boots. I was totally planning on sitting in the lodge with adult beverages for the day and people watch and I sure as hell am NOT asking daddy warbucks for help with my purchases. My daughter is having pure anxiety at this point so I agree.  As I am filling out my paperwork and really not wanted to initial next to injury not being their responsibility, trying to tell the lady my boot size and lie about my weight, braid Addy’s hair which is ratted, since she keeps messing with her helmet and goggles, tell Gigi to hold on with help for her other boot, which then she decided to state out loud, “nevermind you never listen or help anyhow”.  Jay asking me to fill in G’s paperwork and also if I have money for a locker. Addy is now crying because her boots are too small, her goggles are pinching, her helmet is too big and I would notice this but again, “you never pay attention or listen to me” is now coming out of her mouth. She took everything they gave her first and said yes, it fits….but honestly, I couldn’t focus on that 100% since I was dealing with the other pissed off daughter. Seriously! I’ve been a mother effin referee in the car and a counselor all morning. If they could see the beads of sweat I have inside my parka let alone feel all of my grey hair standing straight up and curling themselves with stress, they wouldn’t be bothering me right now. I could have dropped an F bomb, more than once. Used as an adjective, verb and noun in one sentence.  I looked at Jay like, I am going to go bat shit crazy soon, He exchanged everything with her as I walked outside.
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We have 45 minutes in -4 degrees before our lesson.  I am FREEZING! I have Gigi’s scarf and gloves since she has new ones and feel bad I thought these were even suitable for her, I’m blowing in my fists like I am using a duck call. Jay decides to take them on a small hill before lessons.  I am staying back, I will wait for lessons. Addison falls. She isn’t getting up and I know she is crying, Gigi nails it. Jay skis over to Addison and helps her. I can see her goggles are fogged up so I know she is crying. Shocker. Jay helps her get over to stand with me which she then accuses me of not helping her, but taking pictures of her while she is laying there and can’t get up. Actually, I was taking pictures of the kick ass scenery, but whatever. I’m freezing. Wasn’t it supposed to warm up today?


Jay decides to take Gigi on the lift to see if she can do the bunny hill and Addy stays with me. Here we go! More tears and more whining and pouting because now, Gigi is always better than me. Please, I beg you to be happy for one another, this is ridiculous. I see Gigi and Jay coming down the hill, 20 minutes later, as I stand there with pretty close to numb legs at this point, nose running off my face and frozen digits. Still trying to avoid eye contact with Addison because I can’t deal with anymore pouting before I start pouting myself, (oh yes, still crying) and I notice Gigi is pretty much in a tree.  Addison still saying she is always better than her and I look at her and said, “is that why she’s in a tree”?!

Thank my lucky stars she made it down the hill and is not crying because our lessons are starting!  Once things got started and we got the basics down the girls were awesome. Actually, they caught on pretty quick and I was impressed.


All in all it ended up a beautiful day. I think the whole way home we had about 25 “Thank you so much, Dad” floating around in the car and no injuries to report  We will be back again, although this time I will be in snowboarding gear, from Walmart.




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